Gossip is idle talk or rumor about the personal or private affairs of others. It is one of the oldest and most common means of sharing facts and views, but also has a reputation for the introduction of errors and variations into the information transmitted. The term can also imply that the idle chat or rumor is of personal or trivial nature, as opposed to normal conversation.
Since I had found out I was pregnant in November 2010 I have been assaulted with a multitude of “opinions” smashed in my face like a birthday cake from mothers of all ages, all races and all cultural backgrounds. Each mothers opinion was given in the form of a fact pushing their beliefs down the back of my throat and warning me that If I didn’t do the same things or share the same beliefs that “I wouldn’t make it as a good mother”. Initially it was highly amusing to me to listen to these mothers speak and explain away why what they were doing and saying was fact and more conclusive than the next mothers argument. But then it started to really piss me off how dare these woman think that they are going to bully me into deciding how I am going to raise my child. As time passed on I figured out that this “war” has been going on since the beginning of time and that nothing I do or say is going to change that, so eventually I would just walk away and never look back.
Some Of The Things I Was Told:
- If I vaccinated A before he was 5 he would be autistic and have mild down syndrome
- If I didn’t circumcise him he would contract HIV and STDS
- If I let A breastfeed he would be sexually confused when older
- If I didn’t breastfeed him I was lazy and didn’t love him enough
- If I didn’t swaddle him he would grow up to be a sociopath who felt unloved
- If I held him too much he would be too co-dependent and never survive on his own
- If I let him sleep in bed he would never wanna be in his own crib EVER
- If I used disposable diapers his penis would fall off
I mean the list goes on and on and on and if you actually read the whole list then hopefully by now your laughing your butt off just like I was.
Ultimately you get pregnant and you carry that child for 9 months less/more, you bond with that child you share the same nutrients your connected mind/heart/body/soul. When that child arrives and you look into each others eyes the whole journey begins. You feel it in your heart and in your head and you just know what is best for your child. They trust you and they know that you only have the best in mind for them. You know what you can handle and you know what your child can handle, no one else in the world will ever know better than you what your child needs to survive.
I breast-fed my son for the first month of his life it was what I always wanted to do and planned to do from the very beginning but it doesn’t work out the way you want it to all the time. My son was not gaining any weight he was losing weight. He was/is highly allergic to milk, every time he would eat he would get violently ill and scream all day and all night and was constantly in pain. After talking with my pediatrician at length we both decided that I would do whatever I had to do to make sure my son survived and gained weight. I had to put him on soy formula and instantly my sweet premature little A was at peace. His color became normal he was rapidly gaining weight, he was able to sleep and be comfortable, he stopped vomiting and was having proper urine output and bowel movements.
I tormented myself for so long because of “friends” who pressured me and pushed me over the edge because of my decision to switch to formula. I felt like a terrible mother and a terrible person because of how other moms made me feel about my decision. After talking with my amazing husband and mother and a therapist I knew that I had made the right decision not just for A but also for myself. I can’t even honestly tell you that A would even be alive still if I hadn’t made that decision when I did. I have a happy, healthy, silly, smart,fun and inquisitive little 11 1/2 month old all because I listened to myself and my child.
Listen to yourselves ladies you know what is best for your children, you possess that instinct and strength and as long as you follow it you will always be successful no matter what!!